World of Chronic Pain: Yup, Blind For Sure...

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Yup, Blind For Sure...

Well, it's confirmed! I am most definitely blind in my left eye. For some reason, it has not bothered me mentally at all. Being bi polar, you'd think that this would really put me in a downspin, but it hasn't. No mood swings, weird racing thoughts, or anything yet. I suppose that someday I will go through all this once the loss hits me and I begin the grieving process. But as with my Fibro, it may take a few years for this to happen.

Had an appointment with the ophthalmologist yesterday and it's funny to have 20/15 vision with my glasses on, but still not be able to see a pinprick of light out of my left eye alone. I have an appointment with my primary care dr. tomorrow and she will check the smashed bones in my face and try to figure out why my sodium level is so damn low. Even with 3 IV bags full of sodium laced water IV'd into me, it barely came up at all!

I still plan to go to Tahoe with my daughter, her dog and my dog (not the one that drags me around). I'm teaching her to jump through a hoop now as a trick. Camp will be fun, I can't wait! My daughter will come pick me up a week from Saturday and we'll leave early Sunday, the drive is about 8 to 10 hours. ---------------> GOOD DOG!

Feels like nap time - this is the time of day that the sun comes in my west facing windows, and feels good to nap in the sun.

More later...

TG

No comments:

Post a Comment

To the Source of the Flow-Dean R. Koontz

All of us are travelers lost,
our tickets arranged at a cost
unknown but beyond our means.
This odd itinerary of scenes
--enigmatic, strange, unreal--
leaves us unsure how to feel.
No postmortem journey is rife
with more mystery than life.

Tremulous skeins of destiny
flutter so ethereally
around me--but then I feel
its embrace is that of steel.

On the road that I have taken,
one day, walking, I awaken,
amazed to see where I have come,
where I'm going, where I'm from.

This is not the path I thought.
This is not the place I sought.
This is not the dream I bought,
just a fever of fate I've caught.

I'll change highways in a while,
at the crossroads, one more mile.
My path is lit by my own fire.
I'm going only where I desire.

On the road that I have taken,
one day, walking, I awaken.
One day, walking, I awaken,
on the road that I have taken.

Counter Stats

Myspace Layouts

LETTER TO NORMALS - from a Fibromite

These are things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me - You may look at me and think that nothing is wrong to begin with -

Please understand that being sick doesn't mean I'm not still a human being. I sometimes have to spend most of my day flat on my back in bed and I might not seem like great company, but I'm still me stuck inside this body. I constantly worry about what work I can't do, my family, friends and I love to hear you talk about what's going on with you!

Please understand the difference between "happy" and "healthy". When you've got the flu you probably feel miserable, but I've been sick for years. I can't be miserable all the time, I try to work hard at not being miserable - but if you're talking to me and I sound happy, it means I'm happy. That's all. I may be tired. I may be in pain. I may be sicker than ever. If you say, "Oh, you're sounding better!" I'm sounding better, I'm sounding happy because I can at that particular moment.

Please understand that being able to stand up and walk around for five minutes doesn't necessarily mean that I can stand up for ten minutes, or an hour. It's likely that doing it has exhausted me and I'll need to recover - imagine an athlete after a race. You couldn't repeat that right away either. With a lot of diseases you're either paralyzed or you can move. With this one it gets more confusing.

Please think of the above paragraph substituting "sitting up", "walking", "thinking", "being sociable" and so on ... it applies to everything. That's what a fatigue-based illness does to you.

Please understand that chronic illnesses are variable. It's common for me that one day I am able to walk to the mailbox and back (about a mile), but the next day I'll have trouble getting to the kitchen. Please don't attack me when I can't do it again by saying, "But you did it before!". If you want me to do something, ask if I can and I'll tell you. I may cancel an invitation at the last minute, if this happens please don't take it personally.

Please understand that my favorite phrase of the moment might be "I'll do it tomorrow" and that's because I can't do it at this moment, and I REALLY do want to do it.

Please understand that "getting out and doing things" does not make me feel better, and can often make me worse. Fibromyalgia may cause secondary depression (wouldn't you get depressed if you were stuck in bed for years on end!?) but it is not caused by depression. Telling me that I need some fresh air and exercise is appreciated and I would love to do it - if I could.

Please understand that if I say I have to sit down/lie down/take these pills now, that's because I have to do it right now - it can't be put off or forgotten just because I'm/you're doing something. Fibromyalgia does not forgive.

Please understand that I can't spend all of my energy trying to get well. With a short-term illness like the flu, you can put life on hold for a week or two while you get well. But part of having a chronic illness is coming to the realization that you have to spend some energy on having a life now. This doesn't mean I'm not trying to get better. It doesn't mean I've given up. It's just how life is when you're dealing with a chronic illness.

If you want to suggest a cure to me, please don't. It's not because I don't appreciate the thought, and it's not because I don't want to get well or have given up, it's because I have had almost every single one of my doctors/friends/family suggest something at one point or another. At first I tried them all, but then I realized that I was using up so much energy trying things that I was making myself sicker, not better. If there was something that cured, or even helped, all people with Fibro would know about it. This is not a drug-company conspiracy, there is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with Fibro, if something worked we would KNOW NOW.

If after reading this, you still want to suggest a cure, then do it, preferably in writing, but don't expect me to rush out and try it. If I haven't had it suggested before, I'll take what you said and discuss it with my doctor and do what research I can. It may look like I'm doing nothing different from what I did six months ago, and if that's the case, it's because what I'm doing is currently something that is helping more than anything else I've tried and I don't want to get on another "roller coaster" ride at the moment.

Please understand that getting better from an illness like this does not happen, you learn to live with and deal with it the best you can. People with Fibro have so many systems in their bodies out of whack, that it may take a long time to sort everything out.

I depend on you - people who are not sick - for many things.

But most importantly, I need you to understand me -

THANK YOU!

World of Chronic Pain

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Yup, Blind For Sure...

No comments:

Author

Blog Archive

Fibromyalgia Information

Sleep Hygiene Links

What I'm Reading, June, July 2008

Amazon Search

MP3 Clips

To the Source of the Flow-Dean R. Koontz

LETTER TO NORMALS - from a Fibromite