Dunno how long...

Been along time between posts! All I can do is sleep with my dog...she was injured badly enough that someone has to be with her 24 hours a day.

Ripped 30 stitches from butt to knee, enough to have the stitches re-done 4 times. Now she's a donut head WITH pj's. Not much I can do but watch her day and nightl

A Month Since Last Post!

It's been more than a month since my last post! Not that I've been busy - just sleeping alot. It's gotten harder to type with view out of just 1 eye, so I'm guessing my left eye was my more dominate one.

We got 2 new goats to replace those we've lost over the last few years. The darker one is Ginger, lighter one is Spice. They are 4 month old 2nd generation Nubians and won't get much larger. Now, finally our lawn will get mowed and weeds eaten.

Hubby has finished building our front deck, it looks great and feels strong. I couldn't help much, just painting some of the lumber. Our deck is 100% made from our own trees. Now it's barn building time.

We've had about 10 fresh tomatoes so far, but the plants are loaded, just waiting for ripening. Also have had enough green beans for several meals, and some lettuce and garlic. Waiting for the corn to ripen, and a few more heads of garlic to get larger for winter storage. It looks like our potatoes didn't take root this year.

Well, enough info for now, will add more later!

1st Day Out of Bed!

So I've been hiding in bed the last 4 weeks, since coming home from beautiful Tahoe's dog camp. What an awful thing to do to my family! Camp gave me more energy than I've had in months, even though I needed at least a 3 hour nap each afternoon.

Went to camp with my daughter and her dog, Bamboo, a German Shepherd. He's a great dog, just a HUGE puppy, but Rosie loves him. They played alot!

Today was Dr. Day - had 2 appointments. 1st one with pain dr. 2nd with regular dr. Both advised that I need to get into some sort of counseling immediately since all I can do is sleep and mourn over losing my sight.

We'll see - I did the counsel thing a couple years ago, and liked the counselor fine, but the idea of having to pay medical costs to have someone listen to me talk sort of bothers me.

Let's see - other things today - wound up from trip, didn't sleep much, only 2 hours.

Another thought on another day...

Yup, Blind For Sure...

Well, it's confirmed! I am most definitely blind in my left eye. For some reason, it has not bothered me mentally at all. Being bi polar, you'd think that this would really put me in a downspin, but it hasn't. No mood swings, weird racing thoughts, or anything yet. I suppose that someday I will go through all this once the loss hits me and I begin the grieving process. But as with my Fibro, it may take a few years for this to happen.

Had an appointment with the ophthalmologist yesterday and it's funny to have 20/15 vision with my glasses on, but still not be able to see a pinprick of light out of my left eye alone. I have an appointment with my primary care dr. tomorrow and she will check the smashed bones in my face and try to figure out why my sodium level is so damn low. Even with 3 IV bags full of sodium laced water IV'd into me, it barely came up at all!

I still plan to go to Tahoe with my daughter, her dog and my dog (not the one that drags me around). I'm teaching her to jump through a hoop now as a trick. Camp will be fun, I can't wait! My daughter will come pick me up a week from Saturday and we'll leave early Sunday, the drive is about 8 to 10 hours. ---------------> GOOD DOG!

Feels like nap time - this is the time of day that the sun comes in my west facing windows, and feels good to nap in the sun.

More later...

TG

ASPHALT SURFING!!!!!

Help, I'm BLOND in my left eye!!!!!

OOPS...should read BLIND, but yeah, blond also... Photo later on down...
WOW What a morning! That is, Saturday, May 10 was at least. We're having trees removed on our property to thin them out and let light in for the smaller ones, while having the larger ones taken and milled for lumber in return.
So..... You can see WHERE the tree was, it's tilting a little because it's beginning to fall!
OVER There on the right --------->





And what it looks like now that the tree is gone!


<-------And presumably, this bare area is where our sheep eats, sleeps and runs. But right now he's kinda loose on our property doing whatever he wants, where he wants, just hopefully not in our small garden! (where only lettuce is popping up right now)
ANYWAY, I was walking our oldest dog, the only one that can't be off leash outside because she will run forever, and either going uphill or downhill on our driveway (can't remember, you know, BEER, it's not just for breakfast these days) she pulled me uphill, or downhill flat onto my face! In my nightgown, robe, and slippers. Guess I was just lying there a while. Wonderful hubby eventually found me in a puddle of blood, slightly conscious and called 911 while holding something to my head to squelch the blood best he could.
Next thing *I* remember is waking up in a hospital, some 30 miles from home after being in the ER and the ICU, receiving 6 stitches to my eye. This was all Saturday A.M. like I said, when I came to it was Saturday afternoon sometime and I was in a regular hospital room by that time, stitched up, but my head was pretty matted with blood. I had a catheter in, and the people at this particular hospital are VERY VERY nice. It was strange being in the hospital waking up and not being able to remember why I was there, thinking it was all a weird dream.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS *12* YEAR OLD DOG IS DANGEROUS? ---->>>

Saturday night, after a large morphine injection, I was unable to sleep. I got my husband to show them all my prescriptions, and once they figured out that I was on large doses of morphine anyway for my chronic pain problems, the extremely nice nurse called the Dr. and got permission to connect me to a pain pump with fentynal in it so that I could give myself a dose every 6 minutes if I needed. After over an hour of pumping myself full of this stuff, I was finally able to doze off and get a decent night's sleep, but each time I woke I would have to start dosing myself again. After running out of the nice big syringe of that at noonish on Sunday, the Dr. came in and said I needed to stay an extra day until I could get down to my regular med dosages. They took the pump off, and within an hour I went into a major panic attack!

A nice dose of Ativan, morphine and some other relaxant (librium???), within less that 5 minutes I was calmed down. Was able to eat a couple bites of dinner. Within 6 hours of the 1st panic attack, I had another one though! Same combo of meds brought me out of it. Then the Dr. left instructions for sleep meds and I was out like a light until they woke me up for pain meds at midnight and again at 5 am.

So now I'm home, came home Monday around noon after they finally let me shower the blood out of my hair.

After being in bed for almost 3 days, of course I was wound up and as much as I wanted to sleep sleep sleep, I just couldn't! Finally settled down and got to it though. Oh, and THIS is the GOOD photo!
Yesterday I went to an ophthalmologist, He did tests and confirmed that yes, I will never see out of my left eye again. While the cornea doesn't seem to have any damage, the optic nerve (if I'm remembering correctly) is dying and will eventually turn white and shriveled, whatever that means. I've tried to research it some, but can't find much out there about it, so if you have any suggestions, PLEASE email me! (use mail to link at bottom of this days entry, or comment) Supposedly, cosmetically, I'm told it will look fine though.
To the right is the BAD photo, while in the ER before I got cleaned up any.
(BAD PHOTO) ------------------------>


No wonder hubby thought I was going to look like hamburger the rest of
my life!

Well, I'm going to sign off for now,
TG

Pretty Birdies AND Light in the AM!

Wow, Pretty Birdies and Light in the AM! It's so nice to wake up at 5:30 am PDT and hear the birds singing, see the sun coming up and feel the cool air on my toesies. Actually, makes me want to climb right back into bed and hide, except that hubby has made a fresh pot of coffee knowing I've only had 4 hours of sleep.

After trying to do JUST a few things yesterday - clean the dining room table (you know, the one you stack mail on and haven't seen the surface of in months!), sort through old shoes and get a couple bags ready for St. Vincent De Paul's, try to take a short walk to see the tulips and daffys, feed the sheep some grain, it was just all to much and I was so wound up by bed time that I didn't sleep well.

It made me feel a little better to know that my youngest daughter has the same sleeping problem - not really, I pity that, but she works full time and to have to drag yourself out of the house and try to put in a full day of customer service AND be cheery while doing it is something else again. I used to do it, and remember the ZOMBIE like atmosphere of the day. Oh yeah, that is her with the gun....nice photo for a young 'un, right? She will be driving WAY WAY out of her way to pick me up for DOG CAMP in a few weeks. We have a blast there every year, even though there are times when I rely heavily on a cane and have to sleep extra hours.

Well, my eyes feel like sandpaper, my throat is so dry I can't get coffee down, and I think I'm headed back to the sack now that I've tried the coffee and just can't handle it. Looks to be a nice day though! I'll wake up later and enjoy it....



A Recipe for your consideration....

Buffalo Chicken Wings, Our Style
(we don't need no stinkin Blue Cheese!)

Cut a couple pounds of wings into sections

Cook in Dry Hot Air Cooker 40 Minutes or so -
OR deep fry 15 Minutes OR bake at 450 Degrees till crisp

MEANWHILE..... mix about 4 ounces of Frank's Hot Sauce (NOT the wing sauce) with 3 Tablespoons of butter

Add drops of Tabasco Red to your taste (more for hot, less for mild)

Nuke it so that when you're ready to sauce the wings it's a fairly warm (to the touch, not taste) sauce

When wings are cooked to your liking (brown and crisp preferably) give then a quick swim in the sauce

Shake excess sauce back into sauce dish, set wings on paper towels while the rest are swimming... YUM!

Serve with Beer or Tequila of your choice

This has been a weekly tradition in our family since....1982?

We didn't know about the New York Style Buffalo Wings till many years later, but have tried them at MANY MANY different restaurants and holes in the wall. (yeah, even hooters!)

Nothing compares to making your own!!!!

I, myself, have not been able to handle the knife and cut them in years, but hubby is our WING expert.

Till We Fly Away Again,

TG

A New Month, Another Day

At least it's been warm and sunny for the past week or so. Not that it's helped my aches and pains much. I can sleep for 5 days straight, then suddenly wake up and stay awake for 24 or more hours and have to take another 5 days of sleeping to make up for it!

Got Poison Oak from washing and combing the dogs last week. Now there is a critter of some sort under the house driving them nuts. We let them loose under there to see if they could chase it away, and I think they've finally convinced whatever it is/was (racoon?) to leave. Last night the dogs were trying to dig through the floor to get at it and left me a nice present to trip over this morning.....no, not a pile of poop, but a heater vent had been removed and left laying in the middle of the hall. I tripped on it in the dark, and split a toenail in half, very painful!

Pain, Pain, Pain! That's all I can think of. What a drag to those around me. Wish I knew what I could do to make it better.

TG

Warm, Warmer, COLD then Wet

This confusing weather really sets me off, warm and cozy one day, wet and humid the next! Then, cold and snowy as well...

As much as I hate to do it again, yes, another generic post! At least the TV commercial has changed the scenery, a lady gardening with a dog instead of a lady artist. Why don't they ever have men on the commercials? Keep reading...

Today I really struggled with my Fibromyalgia, pain all over, my muscles ached tender to the touch.
you know...you'd think Fibromyalgia would be in a spell checker by now!

As much as I hate that commercial, it has become my motto lately!

Yes, I'm repeating myself again... I've found I can't be honest even using a fictitious name, or maybe I just can't be honest with myself, except in my head. I think what I'm mostly afraid of is that I fall in and out of the fibro and chronic pain modes that sometimes I may post something that will make someone think that I'm a "normal" and can work instead of being disabled. That's really a dumb thought though...I can do "normal" stuff for about 1/2 hour or an hour (at the most, sometimes) and then suffer for it for 3 or 4 days.

I am so bad...

Apologies for not posting in ages! I broke my leg during a snowstorm the last week of January and have just not had the energy. Due to being snowed in, I was not able to make it to the dr. for a week after the break which made it worse, even though I iced it within minutes and kept it iced and propped for the 1st 24 hours.

So...I've decided to put up a generic post for those days I can't make it.... Here goes! As annoying as it will be!

Today I really struggled with my Fibromyalgia, pain all over, my muscles ached tender to the touch.

As much as I hate that commercial, it has become my motto lately! I am just now getting to the point where I can concentrate enough to even turn my computer on. I've been in bed most of the last month with my leg propped up.

This is my second break in 3 years. I broke my hand, below my thumb, 3 years ago when I fell on wet grass while attempting to train my dog in simple, beginner agility. Obviously, I'm the one needing the training!

I fell again this week, re-injuring the break and now I'm also in water gain mode, having gained 20 lbs. overnight.

IBS has been SOOO bad. Never this bad, at least once a week I feel it coming on withing 1/2 hour of eating dinner. I get very very weak, my face and entire body flush a bright red, my head feels like it's going to burst and I'm lucky to make it to the bathroom at all. The entire episode lasts a whole 5 minutes if that long, but I've been keeping track of the days this happens and what I've eaten for my next PCP appointment in 2 weeks.

Till next time...just expect a generic post,
TG

Princess and the Pea

Have you ever read the fairy tale about "The Princess and the Pea"? I haven't read it for many years, but am reminded of it from time to time when something as simple as an ingrown hair, a wrinkle in my sheets, or a pillow that's not quite right keep me from sleeping and make the following day miserable.

This happend on Friday, 1/18 when I ended up staying awake from 10 am Friday morning until 5 am Saturday morning. Stupid things can drive you crazy when you have Fibromyalgia and what seems simple to some can put me under and out for a week at a time. A crinkle or wrinkle in a sheet that's so small can make sleeping miserable and keep me awake for hours, tossing, turning and just generally being miserable.

Well, other than that, the weather is weird, up to 45 today, supposed to be down to 20 tonight. Had to wash a dog that decided to swim in pond scum. Had to wash another dog on Wednesday when hubby left the front door open and she went "for a walk" ha ha...a walk for this 12 year old pup consists of running as fast as she can through fences, mud, weeds and whatever other scuz makes her completely happy. A pain to clean up, but the look on her face after the excursion is worth it.

Tequila days..morphine nights....
TG

Snow & pain

After falling on Sunday, I was surprised to see that I didn't have more pain on Monday. But by Tuesday afternoon, I was back to my original pain from my 1st fall back in 1996. My regular pain dr. monthly appointment was Tuesday morning and I had to change it to afternoon due to snow and ice, pretty heavy Monday night and Tuesday morning. By late Tuesday morning though, it was well above freezing and it was all slush. I drove to town on I-5 and had to take it below 65mph due to heavy rain.
Anyway, due to increased pain the dr. increased my dosage of muscle relaxers. Stupid me, I took 8 total for the day over about a 4 hour period and was very out of it Wednesday. Also increased my breakthrough morphine to double for a week or so. It still isn't enough to help, very hard to sleep, and now my legs are swelling to the point where I've gained 15 lbs. in 24 hours, feel like sausage legs about to pop open.
It's warm this morning! 45 degrees.

That's all for now!
TG

Snowed In, Ice and All!

Dogs are really upset today! Can't walk outside without flying on they're butts. We had a nice fluffy 3" of snow on the ground between 7 am and 3 pm, when the flurries settled. Down. Then the fun started - dogs making snow angels, sliding on the concrete and blacktop, sliding on the wood deck. Amazing to watch some of these old girls turn into pup pups!

Not 15 feet out of the house I went up a slope, never thinking about how I'd get down. I ended up with my feet out from under me flat on my back with my head slamming the blacktop. New injuries feel like when I originally slipped in '96 and started this pain mess! Hot poker up the butt, no sleep to come any time soon.

Weather is supposed to continue to do this for the next 3 days. Maybe I'll get out of here for Dr's appointment on time Tuesday am.

New Year New Life

Happy New Year! Yeah, right...I slept most of New Year's Day, woke up about 3 pm, read about 10 hours then struggled to sleep.

A big storm is coming in, supposed to go on several days, from north of here all the way down to central California. Heard from all family in CA the last few days, they're all anticipating the storm as well. We'll stay comfy and warm with the dogs and plenty of books.

It's funny, the weather the last 2 days has been 10 degrees warmer, night and day, and you would think I'd be in less pain! I am, but just mentally not all there. I still can't make myself do anything but read, it was hard to get on here and even post.

I'm going to try to go into town (50 miles each way) by myself next week, there is a very long list of things that need doing, I have a dr. appointment anyways. It will be an all day trip from around 7 am to at least 3 pm if not later.