SUN Day!

Wow, it is sunny here today for the first time that I can remember in quite a while! I hope I can take a short walk today and soak it up a little.

I slept quite a long time this weekend. I hate doing that, but before today's sun, it was so dreary and rainy and depressing.

Saturday morning I could feel a fibromyalgia attack coming on. I've decided it's quite like being Frankenstein! First, there are tender points on each side of my head, right behind and at the bottom of the back of my ears. They are tender, I can feel them aching without even touch. Then all of my other tender points kick in. The backs of my shoulders, spots on my upper butt, several inches to the side of the lowest spot of my spine, and then my clothing starts to hurt my body. Can't even stand the sheets of the bed on me, although I can't sleep without covers either!

I have found through talking to others that Fibromyalgia doesn't strike lazy people. It generally hits those who have spent years working and playing hard, then drives them into the ground so that they become lumps that others view as non-essential. From the time I was a kid I spent my time going to school, riding horses, working and playing hard.

I had children at a young age, and while raising them, worked a full time job, went to school part time, went out with friends all night at least one night a week. Even when I had a hysterectomy in my mid-20's and was told to take 6 weeks off work I spent the time wallpapering and painting the house!

All it takes is some minor thing to trigger whatever causes fibromyalgia and you're done for. My accident was in 1997, I twisted my back while walking my dog on a downhill slope of a gravel road. A deer jumped out in front of us and she took of after it, me being dumb and not thinking, I held onto the leash and that was that. I didn't feel pain right away, it was several hours, then when I sat down I felt like someone was sticking a hot fireplace poker up my ass. Doctors kept telling me it would take months to heal, I went through much physical therapy that didn't work, but I kept at my job! Working 10 hours a day, commuting 100 miles beginning at 5 am, seeming to be no end to things. Around 2000 I was admitted to an experimental pain program at Kaiser, and a dr. finally said the word Fibromyalgia, but then immediatly took it back. Fortunately she did write it in my records. After many years of Darvocette and then Vicoden, I was up to 300 Vicoden a month. Another dr. told me that I needed something without the tylenol in it and got me an appointment with a pain specialist that put me on Oxycontin at first. I will write another chapter on this later, my arms are tired and this post is boring and long.....

TG

Weak End on The Way

Got up early today, for me. But I've been so weak that it's hard to make myself do anything. Hard to type, pick up a cup of coffee or anything. Hubby made breakfast, nice breakfast burritos.

Our snow is melting, finally got up to 40 degrees today!

New bed pillowtop came, unfortunately it's the wrong size. We'll have to send it back. Not sure who's fault it is. I told them the correct measurements for our king bed, but this looks more like a queen cover. Now I can't get the company to call me back. I hope they aren't closed until after New Years.

That's all I have the energy for now.

TG

Boxing Day!

Wow, we awoke up to a white landscape this morning that is just gorgeous! This is a photo from our backyard as the snow continued to come down. It stopped snowing around noon, with about an inch staying on the ground. Our "eye in the sky" internet connection was down for an hour due to snow accumulation in the dish.

Had to take double and then triple my pain meds today, I guess the cold has gotten through to my bones. I haven't had to do that for a few days. Guess I should change my name to Morphine Queen. More morphine means no wine for me today. Also had to apply a lidoderm patch to my back, feels like bone grinding against bone. My fibromyalgia isn't acting up for once though!

The day after Christmas is Boxing Day in Canada and United Kingdom.

Not much else to say,
Until next time,
TG

Merry Christmas?

Slept all day on Sunday - that's not good at all. Made up for it by getting up at 5 am yesterday. I've found that my back hurts much more if I lay down for too long.
I actually made it out of the house for an hour yesterday! Took a shower, dressed in real clothes (jeans that haven't fit since before last summer) and combed my hair. Hubby took me to "town" ha ha...our "town" is 15 miles away and has about 500 residents. We went to the small grocery, and I bought a candy bar and some nuts. Then needed a lotto ticket, so went around the corner to the Tavern. I had never been in it before - we sat down and ordered drinks, but turns out they only serve beer and wine. So I ordered and Ale, hubby had a wine. First time either of us have had a drink in a bar in years.
We opened our gifts, starting with the dog gifts. Each of them had a nice squeaky and they spent the day playing with them. I got a Dremel tool, a bluetooth headset and some Ipod headphones. I got hubby some dragon t-shirts and an external DVD writer for his laptop.
Talked to dad, then an hour later mom called. Both of them sounded good. Mom says it's down in the 20's where she is, up to 60 where dad is.
So today is Christmas. Nothing on TV, nothing to do but hang out and try to stay warm. It was 32 here this morning, it won't get up to 40 today. I know our heating bill will be double for December, this is our 1st year in this house - but we have to stay warm.

Wow, an update! We're having a white christmas! It's snowing!

Merry Christmas!!!! TG

Holidays...

Another holiday in paradise! I haven't been out after dark to see any decorated houses yet, hope to be able to make myself do so by Christmas Eve. At least it gets dark early here, 4:30 pm PT. You know that you've cut yourself off from family and friends when you only get 5 holiday cards for the whole season. Maybe people just don't send them anymore. The ones I do get are very original though. Hand made or nice un-posed family photos.

I have so many ideas and thoughts I want to post here, but seem to go through a brain freeze when posting time comes. To me, this should be like an ongoing novel of my life, there are enough funny and serious things to interest others, but I can't quite seem to get the words out of my head onto the screen. It's like I need to be wired to the screen and just make the ideas flow. I wish I knew how others are able to do that.

I have dreams at night when I sleep good. They are so real that I often wake up thinking I'm really in the past and it's happening. It's not always good, and for some reason rarely in color. Do you dream in color or black and white? At least once a week I dream I'm paralyzed and upon wakening, can't move my legs for quite a while. Funny thing here...I have a "waveless waterbed" which has a several inch pillowtop mattress pad on top of the water tubes so that there's no jiggle. I've been waking up in what I thought was a puddle of sweat for the past month or so. Turns out there's a slight hole in a water tube!!!! Ack...had to order a new pillow top and 2 new tubes, meanwhile, I sleep in a small puddle. Could have something to do with the fact I share the bed with a husband, 3 dogs and a cat.

A nice 12 hour sleeping day. Seems to be how it goes lately! 12 hours awake, 12 hours asleep. Didn't get to bed until 1 am this morning, woke up for good at 3:30 pm this afternoon. Must have been the glass of wine last night. It doesn't mix well with my meds.

Till next time...TG

A Cold Wet Friday

Another cold, wet Friday in the Pacific Northwest! Didn't even make it to 40 degrees today, and was spitting snow, even though we normally don't get snow this far south.

I wandered out to get the mail this afternoon. Didn't walk to the mailbox, it's 1/2 mile away, but I drove, in my sweatpants and nightshirt with a tshirt pulled on over it, hoping I wouldn't get stuck in the frozen mud or breakdown since I'm out in the boonies and might not be found for a while.

Was watching T.V. today, I just hate daytime commercials, especially the ones for Fibromyalgia and depression. The one that shows a woman with her journal that starts "today my fibromyalgia was so bad....." really gets me. The "depression turns you into a person you don't recognize" one also drives me nuts.

Days do seem to be better when I get a good nights sleep. My primary dr. and I had a discussion about "sleep hygiene" when I was there last. It helps that she has fibro herself and knows what I go through. I don't see how she can work a 4 day week, but she insists her fibro is not as bad as mine.

I've been eating a low carb, high protien diet for about 2 weeks now. Have lost 10 lbs. My pain drs. assistant is a nutrition nut and says this sort of diet is good for joint pain. We'll see...

I couldn't go to the store today with my husband. This makes 10 days since I've been nowhere but the mailbox. I took a shower for the first time in 4 days, but still could not make myself go out in public. It feels like everyone stares at me. Even though I know I look normal, I am not. Pain is hard to live with!

Ack, no Men in Trees tonight! The only nightime show I stay up for! Hopefully Duel will be gone soon.

TG